Tomorrow

4th hour tomorrow I have to present the video I made. I worked hard on it, but I don't really like it right now, and I'm worried because I have to present and no one else has gone yet. I honestly don't know what is going to happen and I'm scared. I won't be able to even talk if it all goes wrong. I wish I could just not ever present, but my presenting is worth like 200 pts so I can't not do that. I love the potential of this work, but it's so complicated, and I'm tired and it's not what I hoped it would be. I seriously had a nightmare last night that my project was yelling at me in Italian. I don't know more than a few words in Italian, so I have no idea why I think that's what it was, but I did. I kept yelling back at it in english "I'M DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN!!!" It was bad. I need this week to be over so that I can relax and not spend my life thinking about what I need for projects, and my friends, and my sister's birthday, and why my bf is acting all weird on me, and red duct tape. I dropped choir today, and I'm upset about it, but there wasn't anything else that I could do. I need my life back. I need to breathe. And I need a good night's sleep really, really badly.

A Real Update

For the last few days I keep doing technical entries, but I wanted to do a real update too.

I'm really stressed out right now. I have so much to do and in school and I need to have my video finished by the end of the day tomorrow, because I need to test the file. This is going to require hours and hours of work for me.

I need to turn in my story and have it graded a day or two after I present my movie, and it's not there yet at all.

This project is really important to me, and very personal as well, so I'm extra excited and stressed out here.

I have 2 other projects due this week, and would have 3 but I'm dropping choir tomorrow (can't avoid it anymore).

I'm exhausted. Seriously. Running on empty here.

College stuff is due soon.
      1) LAMESAUCE
      2) I don't know all of it yet.
      3) At this point it sounds like a bad idea

That's my update. Not much there you haven't heard actually. But whatever.

Notes, Notes, Notes...

So by the rules of my project I have to have notes on my subject, which by requirements of my rubric I need to organize ( doubble :p ). Here goes...

Bio:

vangogh was a dutchman, but he spent a lot more time in France than the Netherlands.
he made 900 paintings.
he loved his family even though he didn't get along with people. His brother and nephew were very important to him.
he liked color and imagery.
he was not mentally stable. Some sources believe that this was due to manic depression and certain poisons he ingested.
he tried to take his own life, and died of complications 2 days later.
his father was a preacher, and he wanted to be one too at one point in his life.
he was a very passionate person.
he cut off part of his ear.
he was not good at love. or friendship.
he had trouble controlling his hands later in life (arthritis perhaps?)
he only sold one painting, but after his death his sister in law worked to make him famous.

Things I've gathered:

He was incredibly deep and complex, and so people had trouble understanding him.
He sort of burned himself out. I think he was the sort of person who has to put his all into everything, and as much as that is why he was successful, that's what destroyed him.
Even though he didn't know how to handle himself, he did the best he could and was a good man, who had a wonderful view of beauty, life and God.
He had a lot to offer the world, and still does, if only people would know and would have known how to understand him.

Time to make Connections

In truth, I don't just decide to sit down and look for connections between things. I might do that occasionally, or supplementarity, but usually I'm just going along along, thinking about things and then I have a light-bulb moment and think "HAHAHAHA I'VE GOT IT!!!!". This has been a combination for both. Connection between van Gogh and my life were more seamless, while connecting his work to the nature of God was a bit more systematic for me. I started by realizing that's actually what he was painting. Then I put myself into the art, the man's life, and the feeling of it all. It came more easily then. I was choosing pictures and I was thinking how they showed his theory on God. He saw God as wild, something man could never control. He found God in the silence and loneliness of open spaces. He saw the paths laid before his feet and the way that God was like a friend. Even when he was at bad times in his life he found God in the stars- constant even in his inner turmoil. SO far I was with him, but then his life took a turn that I couldn't agree with. Vincent tried to take his own life, and where he was desperate, I have myself found a loving God who will never give me more than I can handle, and makes sure that I have everything that I need. Why else would God create us, or give beauty to existence? Everything that he painted doesn't fit unless there is a loving and merciful God. That's what Vincent painted above everything else even if he couldn't see it himself.

How I'm gonna Pull This Off

I decided to really put my all into this, because this project is really important to me. So what I'm going to do is for my evaluation, I'm going to write a story about someone finding the Nature of God through the art of Van Gogh. This has been difficult so far. I've made it much to complex for the length of the story. For my class presentation I thought about giving everyone a copy of the story, but 1) didn't think I could use one story for both this and my evaluation and 2) I guard my creations for the most part, and knew that this story would be to personal for me to hand out to everyone. So I decided that a slideshow type movie would be cool and a little bit less personal for me so I wouldn't be as nervous or as hurt if it didn't go over as well as I would hope.

Story+ Movie+ blog (this one, used for the smaller assignments)= Project Completed

Let's do this.

Source List

Alright, so I have to have sources for my project, so here is my list- complete with descriptions.

1) Vggallery- a website supported by the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam. includes an online gallery, a collection of his letters, and analysis of his life and art. AWESOME SOURCE!!!!

2) Starry, Starry Night- song remade by Josh Groban about the life and art of Van Gogh. Beautiful, and hints an his mental state, genius, beauty of art, and the underlying message in his art (at least that there is one). Originally by Don McLean, but I don't like that version because it just sound wrong. and there is a lyrics of analysis in source 4, but I think they missed something.

3) Brainy Quote- generic quote website. I used the pages with quotes by my artist, and on art. I also looked at the quotes on God, but didn't find any that I wanted to use (and there were a LOT to look through, so I gave up at one point)

4) Van Gogh Gallery- this is yet another website that has lyrics, pictures, biographical info, museums, all about VG. Good site to know.

5) Van Gogh by Rene (insert accent on last e) Hyughe- book with art, letter excerpts, sketches, analysis of personality/ life/art, ...

Crunch Time

My project is due this week, so I've been putting in the hours this weekend to make it all work. Yesterday I spent hours looking at painting in a fabulous online gallery (google vggallery if you're interested), and making a list of paintings to put in my presentation. There are some really beautiful pieces of art, and I found a ton that I could use for my movie. There is also information about some of the art, and it was really cool to get to know VanGogh as a person through the commentary. For instance I learned that he liked to paint outside, he created Starry Night while he had checked himself into an asylum, and his nephew was named for him. I was laughing thinking about how excited he was that his nephew was named Vincent, and how proud he was that the kid was interested in his artwork. It was just so cute! :)
I'm also trying to catch up on my entries and work on the story part of my project. It's really coming along. I have one character pretty much finished, and I've started the other one, but she's much more difficult to articulate. I think I need to make her less complex, because she's having this faith crisis which is necessary to the plot, but I was also trying to write in her depression, but I don't think I have time to develop it, so as much as I love that piece of her, I may write it out. Basically, I'm working really hard to do as much as I can in a short span if time.

LES'T GO HUMAN!!! YOU CAN DO IT :D