Have you ever watched Doctor Who? It's a British sci-fi show (wich just goes to show how incredibly nerdy I am), and something that's been on my mind a lot lately. I love that the show seems to say things that I could envision going through my head, being said by people like myself. One of may favorite lines is in the episode where they are on the Titanic (spaceship, not ocean liner) and the doctor tells one of the passengers that he and his friends are hermits. "Hermits united. We meet up every ten years or o and swap atories about caves."
I am not a hermit. Yet. I have to say though that the idea does have some appeal.
What prompted this is that today I was informed that for Humanities I would be forced to work in a group this quarter (and next quarter too, by the looks of it). I'm not thrilled. People are crazy. Serieously. And I don't have any real friends in that class anymore. So I'm going to have to just go up to some group of friends and say "hey, mind if I join you for the next few weeks?". AKWARD! I'm really good at working on my own. i'm relatively efficent when I choose to be, I'm my own master, and left to my own devices I do some pretty shnazzy things. Put me in a group, and you loose a lot of that.
So while I'm freaking out and considering dropping the class that was my favorite period of the day last semester, I'm really wishing taht Anna would join my class. Or I would know someone in 4th hour. Or I didn't have social anxiety. Or that I could work alone. Mostly that one.
The second reason that I'm loving the doctor right now (besides the fact that I'm probably on overload) is the appeal of having someone in my life the way that Donna has the doctor. I'm Clare, super nerd! Where's my alien in a blue box??? I want to see the universe. I don't know how to explain it... to live like I'm drowning in an idea, and that idea is life, living it so intensely that I can't breathe, and it sinks in so that every part of me is flooded with it, my lungs are full if the thought, and every blood cell has replaced it's oxygen and carbon dioxide with the tiniest molecules of it all. That's how I want to live, and that's what I see here. I see the promise of a different life and the promise of knowledge of life outside ourselves. Like I said, it's hard to explain.
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