Let's Have Dinner

Heartbeat- the Fray

It's summer and I realize I haven't posted in a long time, but I also realize that no one actually reads this blog so I'm not quite so worried about that.
I've been either busy or sick or both so far this summer and I have a ton of stuff I need to do for school and I need a job and whatever.

The title tonight came from Sherlock on BBC again- "I'm sad tonight, let's have dinner." That's where I'm at right now. Just sad tonight. I'm stressed and sick and facing down the rest of my life, and it all makes me sad. It probably doesn't help that I've been on a lowered dose of my meds the last couple days since my bottle of pills ended up in my brother's room and no one noticed the switch until last night after I was in bed.

So yeah, I'm sad tonight, let's have dinner. Seriously. We can get a bad pizza or something and just sit and be quiet and everything will go away for a little while so that we have our own corner of the world.

If the world I imagine was real than tonight I would build a fire and call up a friend and he would put an arm around my shoulders and we would sit and enjoy each other's company, maybe call for takeout eventually and tell stupid stories. It's not a complex fantasy, just one that feels out of reach right now because everyone wants an explanation when you call and only one friend understands the existing thing and another the huggy thing and I am incapable of morphing them together at this point in time. Chances are if I did they would actually become a chatty no-contact person and I would be sitting there thinking "well that's not at all helpful".